Poem

Myself

When I am sad what can I do

to stop from feeling quite so blue

All I have is you.

You lift me up and yet sometimes I fall back down again

It takes time to sit and think and want to even try again.

Are you special are you great or are you someone that I really hate?

Do I believe that I can win or do I even want to try again?

I hear chocolate and ice cream can be good for you except sometimes it's fatening too.

Sometimes it seems that all I do is pray becuase I know God can take it all away and he can help in every way.

So self what do you say are you going to be blue today? Can you smile or do you want to frown when everything seems so upside down.

You've never been taught what to do but you know that God is always watching over you.

What can I do next time to love myself when no one else cares

I don't know but all I know is that I myself is there.

I owe nothing to no one when they don't treat me right

I owe the best things to myself because that is who God likes.

Notes

Up and feeling a little better today. Was hungry, but nothing sounded good. I had some left over potatoes so I made hash browns. I think I overcooked them a little, but I still liked them . It was the only thing that even sounded good so I made them for myself even though I've been sick. As I was making them I thought about potatoes. I thought about how my family can be very nit picky at times and they always get after me for cutting up stupid potatoes the wrong way. Well excuse me I didn't know their was a correct way to cut a stupid potato maybe they could show me how since they are the experts and have never taken the time to show me. Maybe if we lived in Ireland or Idaho their would be a law or something on cutting potatos. Anyway I just thought how much stupid things people say can really get into your head and make you think that you aren't capable of the simpilist tasks. If we just would be a little kinder to each other or if that is impossible if we could just tune out all the stuff people say we can't do. I like a quote that says ---What would you try to accomplish if you knew you could not fail? I don't remember who said it.

Notes

Been really sick this last week. Haven't been myself. Been weak and tired. Almost had to go to the hospital. I am thankful that I'm starting to feel better. I am thankful I don't get sick that often although being off work has been kind of nice. I am thankful for when I am healthy. Had a dream about my Grandpa Woods last night. It was so real. He told me how proud he was of me and Jamie and what good girls we are like he always did and he gave me a hug. Been thinking about Grandma Woods a little too and how much she made me laugh and made my day. I kind of miss her a little and her spunk. She really meant a lot to me.

Teaching

I have had students with autism in my class for a long time. Have a theory that I believe and know is correct, but no one listens. I could be making millions and money would be nice, but in the long run I'd rather just teach and give hope to others.