My week

Well I started job training and Im really extreemly nervous for my hands on training. Dont really want to talk about that at the moment though.
 Saturday was good. Went on the suicide prevention walk with family. Had some shirts made for it and connected a little with family this year. I think Im doing good things.
Except after the walk really wasnt feeling all that great. So I went over to Jamies and rested. Then went home and fell asleep. Woke up about 7:45pm and got in my pjs.
    Ive been a little emotional this week here and there. Ive been a little depressed lately also, but starting to actually feel a little better. I am taking my medicine for depression which I know helps me and I am functioning. Just been a little blue.
    I hope to find my smile soon.
I did have a missionary moment in therapy group the other day though. I was really excited about that. Told them how I overcame my Aunts Suicide and the hope we have through God and Jesus Christ. I thought that it went well.
   Well everyone have a good night.
 

Well my new nephew was born this week Carter Davis Jones. Hes been having some complications and I hope and pray that all will be well. Its amazing how precious new babys are and what a gift they are from God.
     I am thankful for the support I have from good friends and that I can lean on them through hard times like these. My friends are the best.
    Start orientation for my new job tomorrow and I already talked about that last time. I met a lady who coordinates job coaches and weve been through a lot of similar things she feels like she knows me and wants to meet and just talk. She works in Las Vegas. She is a apecial education, just lost her mom, and her maiden name is Jones. It can be a small world at times. I might meet her this weekend.
  I was extreemly tired today after helping watch my other nephews this week, but its also been so rewarding to get to spend time with them.
   I will miss some of my therapy grpups this week while I am training. Its always hard to start.something new. Well thats about all for tonight.

   
         

Well I got a new job at the new Wendys here in Mesquite. I'm excited but nervous. I keep telling myself that it will be a nice new start for me although new beginnings are always scary but good. You can only imagine the nervousness and intrepidation of starting with new bosses, the regret and disappoinment of leaving behind my education, and the mixed feelings of leaving behind my friends and people I know at work, and the difficulty with change and new things,but it will be a good new start and I need to not focus on the past.
   Im getting a new nephew this week and I am very excited about that and hope and pray that all goes well this time. So far everything is going well. The lord knows I cant handle much more trauma in my life right now. (At least I hope he understands.)
      A very good friend of mine has a birthday tomorrow and my thoughts have been being sent her way. I love her so much and what a positive example she is in my life.
      I am thankful for my therapy groups Ive grown and progressed a lot. I just want to be happy when some days I really have to just sigh. I have a lot of days when Im not feeling good, but those happy days are so filled with fun, joy, and fullfilment. My favorite moments are when I feel at peace.
 Ive been through a lot in life and Ive been diagnosed with a lot of tough disorders. Maybe one day I can write about my journey, but for right now I am so thankful for those peaceful moments when they come and for positive people in my life.
    I miss my Grandma Vera and my mom dearly, and am trying to work through my grief. My mom would be cheering me on with my new job right now and giving me the support and encouraging words I need to hear. I know she is from heaven.
   Right now I am good, but feeling a little blue and writing usually helps me figure out whats wrong. There is so much more I want to say, but better stop for now. Have a good night.

  So today I attened a funeral of a High School Teacher and friend: Joe Bowler it was a very nice funeral, sad but happy at the same time. Got to see an high school friend also who attended the funeral. It was fun.
     I was lazy and took a nap, then I went to Jamies and to the store, and now Im being lazy again.
     I get to lead the Relief Society Council Discussion tomorrow. Im prepared but a little nervous.
     I am home right now feeling a little lonely. Im ok just a little lonely.
Well I will write more later.
   Oh Joe Bowler was my first year Spanish teacher.

Theropy group was good yesterday. We talked about our feelings and made God Boxes. Whats a God Box? You take a box any box and decorate it. Then when you have a trial or problem you write it down and put it in your box. Its suppose to be like you are turning your trial/problem over to God. Not to bad for a mixed religious group of people who are not all Lds like me.
   I have to be honest with myself. I think I may have high functiining or maybe even situational depression. My meds help still and I'm functioning but kind of feeling down. Theres really not a whole lot I can do about the situation either except try to stay positive I guess. So if anyone reads this please keep me in your prayers.

Today has kind if been a lazy day for me, but I did do one important thing today. For family members check out the Our Heritage blog and let me know what you think. Father's Day is coming up so I posted a few memories of my Grandpa Eddie Lee Jones.
   Another thing I learned today that a member in our ward and a good friend of ours had a stroke. He had surgery on a brain anreuyism, but reports are good and he seems to be recovering well so far. People are calling it a miracle because of how well he is doing.
    Thats about it for today.

          Wow it seems I haven't been on here in a long time. I forgot my sign in information to my blog until now.
    So what have I been up to these days. It seems mostly that I've been busy. This last week I babysat and had fun with my nephews. Ages 7,4,and 20 months. I thourouly enjoyed it and realized or saw just how much I've been growing emotionally. So my therapy and hard work has been paying off. This Monday in group we talked about trauma and trauma is very real you guys. I think it gets minimized a lot, but for those of us with strong emotions it can be very difficult. Plus the amount of trauma Ive been facing lately has been very difficult and the extrimity of it.
    In my other group weve been talking about grief this week we talked a about belief systems and I read an article about good communication when dealing with your belief systems. In life skills group we talked about healthy eating cooking, and excercise. I'm not quite ready to focus on all that yet but I did go out and buy stuff to make me a salad. Increase my vegetable intake. My therapy group at home was good this week talking about using both our reasonable minbd and emotional mind together to make wise decisions and choices. I have to practice the activities this week to increase my ability to use my wise mind.
  Now that Jamie is mostly done with school, Im picking up my adult coloring again for anxiety purposes it calms me down. Also Ive been reading my scriptures a little better. Im at the end of Mosiah at the story of Alma the younger. Im also in Leviticus learning and studying about all the different burnt offerings and the rules. It was interesting to me that they always mention making an atonement when they want to be made clean. I really liked that thought and want to ponder it some more.
   Im the secretary in my ward for Relief Society which has kept my busy. The new changes are change but they will be good.
     Thats about all I've been up to lately besides looking for a job and hoping and praying that I can find one where I don't have to work on Sundays.
     I had an incident this weekend that was traumatic for me, but I found comfort in my friends. I wantedto share with one friend in particular but she hasnt been available. I know that this friend loves me but its been extreemly hard lately wothout her but life just keeps moving on.